It's Not Gossip: Judging Wise and Unwise Conversations

All of us do many wrong things. But if you can control your tongue,

you are mature and able to control your whole body.

James 3:2

Among one of the weapons in the arsenal of evil is the weapon of gossip. It is used to help the enemy divide and conquer. The devil knows that we are stronger when we stand together. The devil realizes that as long as we are unified with Christ and with each other, the devil is powerless against us. And so, this weapon of gossip has been used quite effectively to destroy good churches and ministries that were trampling on the enemy's strongholds.

What is gossip? Well, one of the problems with gossip is that it seems to be so ambiguous. If someone tells me that they are getting ready to lose their house and I tell someone else, was I gossiping? What if I were telling the other person because that person had the means by which to help? Since I hate fighting terminology wars, this article will not be about gossip. But, I do want to give some guidelines for identifying wise and unwise conversations. My hope is that with these defensive tools, the reader will become more aware of their conversation and not give place to the enemy to shoot the double barrel gossip shotgun from his or her mouth.

Four Questions Litmus Test

How does one determine when it is wise to participate in a particular conversation? I offer you this litmus test. There are four questions you should ask yourself that will help you determine whether a conversation is wise or unwise to be involved in.

1. Is the information true? Don't get stuck in conversations about things that are not true or that the person sharing it (including yourself) is not sure that it is true. And you should also shy away from shaky information or statements of other people's viewpoints. Most of the time, these kinds of information have no basis in reality, but more so in another person's perspective.

2. Will my knowledge or sharing of this information edify or benefit the party or parties involved? It is important for us to seriously think about how the knowledge of the information we are sharing or know about others affects them and their lives. If it doesn't make their life better, then you probably would do good to not participate in that conversation.

3. Will knowledge of this information protect me or the person I to whom I am sharing it from direct, impending or immediate harm? Usually, we start justifying our need for the "latest juicy news" here by rationalizing or fabricating a possible harm. This is not what I am talking about here. The harm cannot be something the "could quite possibly maybe" happen, but it must be something that will happen, to the best of your knowledge. And the harm must be direct.

4. Is the knowledge of this information necessary for the person receiving it (including yourself) to make an informed decision about an important issue? The level of importance should be determined from the receiving person's perspective.

If you cannot honestly answer yes to at least two of these questions, you can safely determine that entering into the conversation is unwise.

As ambassadors of the Kingdom of God—righteousness, peace, and joy—we are charged to protect the kingdom in our lives and in the lives of every one of its citizens. Participating in unwise conversations aids in the destruction of peace and joy in the lives of all people involved. That is counterproductive to our mission as ambassadors.

Make a commitment today to not participate in unwise conversations. I would even challenge you to go a step further. Reprove anyone that brings unwise conversation to you. Don't allow others to dump someone else's trash in your yard. If you do, ultimately you will be responsible for cleaning up the mess.

I admonish each of you, as Paul admonishes the Church at Ephesus, "[Endeavor] to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace" (Eph 4:3). By doing this, we put up a spiritual force-field around our ministries against this vicious weapon of the enemy. With this, God is pleased.